New Expectations

I was expecting the worst this Christmas. I don't really know why. I just was. I was expecting loneliness, depression, and a side of angst. Instead I suffered through good times with my extended family, great conversation with my parents , and healthy banter with my baby brother. I think that since last year's holiday I may have even learned a thing or two about myself and where I'm supposed to be going. Last year I was excedingly sick, and in the middle of a painful argument. This year, health has returned. Relationships are restored. Optimism is peeking its head out. I suspect this blog will be taking a particular turn in the coming weeks and months. You'll see what I mean. I can already feel its direction changing, looking back on the past months' journeys. This all started as an exercise to keep in touch while away to India for several months, and has now become a part of me. It got me writing again after quite the dry spell, and that is worth its weight in gold. It feels good to write. To relate. But my thoughts for this blog and in life are tending towards a particular topic, and a particular set of issues I see affecting the people, the culture around me. This city. This great city is suffering, whether it knows it or not. I wonder what we can do to restore it to health. To cure its sicknesses. To restore its relationships. I'm watching news of violence in her city streets. I'm feeling the seduction of the latest trends. The perpetual desire to fit in. The need to find myself (and if I can't do that, to buy myself something shiny). All around me, this city is deluding herself with self-perpetuated lies, and all the politicians do is yammer back and forth with more concern for airtime than their constituents. Tell us what we want to hear, Paul. Stephen. Jack. Hell. We don't even expect you to keep your promises. You stopped dealing with real issues years ago, more concerned with image than substance. Backroom strategy sessions dominated by ways of appearing to improve the nation. There's a good idea - if it appears so, it must be so. Right? So if the politicos aren't doing it, who will? Well shit, I guess that implicates me. And you too, if you're reading this. Gospel truth. Looks like the new year means sleeves rolled, grimy hands, and a new sort of education. Maybe if we're actually loving this city, it'll also appear as though we're loving this city. I don't mean to put the cart before the egg, but maybe it's time we stop preaching change we're unwilling to bring ourselves. God forbid we stand on guard for the Creation with which He's entrusted us.